


Mine

by SeaofRhye (orphan_account)



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: AU Fic, EMT!Ian, Engaged Gallavich, Gallavich, M/M, Marriage, Mention of postpartum depression, Mexico, Post-Mpreg, Sequel, They actually talk about shit, cute kid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 17:20:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20531699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/SeaofRhye
Summary: Sequel to "Wait For Me." Mickey deals with single parenthood in Mexico, and Ian copes with the long-distance relationship.





	Mine

If Ian had missed Mickey before their unexpected reunion two months ago, he misses him a hundred times more now. He texts him every day like they're in high school. He shows a few of Mia's pictures to his co-workers just so he can look at them again. He tells everyone who isn't related to him that she's his new goddaughter, and people are politely congratulatory--even if there are a few who notice the similar hair color and give him looks like they doubt the validity of his claim. 

Whatever. He should be so lucky to be Mia's biological father.

That's not to say he didn't catch hell from Fiona and Lip when he got home. They did the usual "Were you off your meds?" interrogation before he could get a word in edgewise, and by the time he'd convinced them that he was not, in fact, manic, they'd wanted to know how Mickey had managed to get pregnant without his help. 

Ian had told them as much as was safe for them to know, and showed them the pictures of Mia. Fiona practically melted and Lip made a joke about Mickey having good taste in prison boyfriends, which Ian had to hit him for. In the end, they were mostly just relieved that he came back and isn't throwing everything away on Mickey's behalf. They understand him wanting to go back at some point (and are shocked but supportive when he announces his engagement,) but agree that waiting is not a bad idea.

In the meantime, he's unwittingly stuck himself in a long-distance relationship, and it's slowly killing him. 

"How are you?" he asks Mickey during their weekly phone call. 

"Good," Mickey says casually. "I've lost a few pounds, finally stopped looking pregnant. It's hard to hide a belly when it's eighty degrees out every day."

"Great," Ian says, smiling at the thought of Mickey back to his normal self. "How's Mia?"

"Stubborn as fuck," Mickey says, sounding more proud than annoyed. "How does a five-week-old baby know what she likes? I swear, she's gonna be a nightmare when she's older. She can already tell what kind of formula she prefers, won't even take any other kinds."

Ian loves hearing Mickey talk about Mia, even when it's mostly complaining. He figures he needs to vent. 

"How's Flora working out? Are you picking up any Spanish?"

Mickey sighs. "I'm trying, but it's like my brain's mush thanks to not getting enough sleep and probably leftover hormones. She could be calling me a donkey's dick and I couldn't tell."

Ian laughs. "You're not being a dick to her, though, right?"

"No. She's great with Mia, and she's teaching me a lot of stuff I didn't know before. She's nicer than Svetlana, anyway, doesn't call me a piece of shit all the time. At least, not in English."

There's a slight pause, and Mickey's voice softens. "I miss you, man. I think Mia does, too. She cried a lot the first night you weren't here."

Ian's heart twists when he hears that. "I know. I miss you, too. And her. Give her a big kiss from me."

"I will." Mickey's voice changes and Ian can only assume he's now talking to Mia herself. "Daddy says to give you a kiss, sweetheart. Can you say hi to Daddy?"

Normally Ian would make a lot of jokes about Mickey using that word, but hearing it in the context of him actually being a father makes him feel unbelievably proud. 

"Hi, Mia," he says, hoping Mickey's holding the phone so she can hear him. "I love you, baby. I can't wait to see you again."

***

He sends as much of the baby stuff as he can to Mickey's PO box (under the name M. Gallagher, and writing it down on the envelope gives Ian a thrill in spite of everything.) A few weeks later, he gets an unexpected package in the mail--an envelope full of Polaroids, all taken by Mickey.

Had to go old-school with these, but thought you'd like them. Love M

Ian can't stop smiling as he looks through at least thirty pictures of Mickey and Mia, some taken in their apartment, some outdoors and around town. A lot are just of Mia. She's grown so much that Ian can't believe it, and seems to love stretching out on her tummy on the floor, gripping onto anything Mickey puts in her hand (and his hair, which makes Ian laugh) and looking out of windows. Ian can tell she's going to look just like Mickey around the eyes. Her hair's still red, if a bit lighter than when she was born. His favorite is a picture of her sleeping like an angel, with a tiny middle finger pressed against her own cheek. 

The pictures of Mickey are a little harder to look at, because Ian misses him more with every one he sees. He's wearing sunglasses and a hat in most of them, which Ian suspects is about identity protection as much as sun. Some are NSFW, and Ian stashes those away for later. They may not be hi-def, but they're more of Mickey than he's going to see in a while. Anything helps.

He makes a mental note to get a camera and send Mickey some photos of his own.

***

Ian really shouldn't be surprised when he answers his door expecting pizza one evening, and instead it's Mandy Milkovich. She immediately punches him very hard in the arm. 

"What the fuck, Gallagher?" she yells, sounding eerily like Mickey. "You helped deliver my brother's baby and you didn't fucking tell me?"

Ian quickly closes the door after glancing around to make sure no one was in the hall when she said that.

"Hi, Mands," he says dryly, massaging his arm. "I guess you talked to Mickey."

"Yeah, in fact I just got back," she says, hands on her hips. "I could only stay for a couple of days, but oh my God." Her eyes tear up. "Mia's so beautiful. She looks so much like Mickey it's insane. And he's actually doing okay with her. Better than he was with Yevy, anyway."

Hearing her say that, and not knowing how much he wanted confirmation that Mickey's handling the single-parent thing, is a huge relief to Ian. 

"But," she says, snapping right back into Milkovich mode, "I can't believe it's been four fucking months and I'm only hearing this story now."

Ian holds up his hands placatingly. "Yeah, I know, and I'm sorry. I called you before, but he didn't want to tell you until after Mia was born. And then things got busy, and--"

"I don't care," Mandy says with an impatient shrug. "I wanted to thank you for not letting my brother or my niece die out there in the desert, like the dumb fuck probably would've done if you hadn't gone with him. The way he tells it, you were incredible."

"Me?" Ian laughs. "He was the one having the kid! I was just there putting what little training I had to work. I'm just glad I knew what to do."

"Oh, shit!" Mandy says, eyes going wide."And you guys getting engaged?!" She launches herself at him and nearly squeezes all the air out of his lungs, but he hugs her right back equally as hard. "I can't believe you're gonna be my brother-in-law! Finally! Tell me all about the proposal!"

Ian distangles himself and the story has to wait a minute, because at that exact moment the doorbell rings and this time it is the pizza delivery guy. Mandy practically bounces in place while Ian pays him, and they sit down together while Ian tells the story and Mandy helps herself to pizza. 

"So, when are you planning to do it?" she asks when he's done. "It'd better be soon, because I'm not waiting until Mickey's statute of limitations is up."

"Well, that's kind of what we're thinking," Ian says reluctantly. "I mean, we might do a town hall deal first and then, when it's safe for him to come back, have something more like a real wedding. But, you know, Mick doesn't love weddings. Not after what happened the first time."

Mandy winces. "Yeah, I guess. I still want to be a bridesmaid or whatever. I told him I was happy to walk him down the aisle." She points at him. "But don't you fucking dare elope. Cause if you do, I'm telling all your siblings and we will hunt you both down."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

***

A month after Mandy's visit, Ian gets a call from an unknown number during work. It's not Mickey's, but it could be about him, so he answers.

"Hello?"

"Ian?"

He recognizes the voice as Flora's. "Oh, hi, Flora. Como estas?"

"Bueno." She switches back to English. "But I called because I'm worried about Mickey."

His heart lurches. "Why? Is he in trouble? Is Mia all right?"

"She's fine. But he's been...depressed lately. Doesn't want to hold the baby, sleeps late, avoids her when she cries. I think he has post-partum."

Ian is staggered. "What? But--he was fine. I talked to him a couple weeks ago, and he sounded...normal."

"It can happen months after a baby is born," Flora says sagely. "I've had it twice, once when my youngest was almost a year old. I keep telling him he can come to a group I go to, but he says no."

Ian's not surprised to hear that, at least. "Yeah, I can see why not." He isn' t sure what he's supposed to do or say in light of this. "Should I...should I come see him?"

"That's up to you," Flora replies. "I would call first, and maybe you can get him to find someone to help. I'm doing my best, but he's a pendejo when he wants to be."

Ian knows what that means and smiles in spite of the sobering news. "I know, trust me."

When the call ends, Ian feels like the rug just got pulled out from under him. He thought Mickey was okay. He thought Flora would be enough help that he wouldn't get overwhelmed caring for Mia. He thought he did everything right in trying to help, and now...was there something he missed, or something more he should have done?

He has no idea. He knows nothing about post-partum depression, except that he thought it affected women much earlier than five months after the birth. Clearly, he was wrong, and as a carrier Mickey is not immune to it.

He'll call him as soon as he got off work. They'll talk, he'll do everything he can to convince Mickey to go to Flora's group or see a doctor, and it'll be okay. It has to be.

***

"No."

"Mick, please," Ian pleads, still in his car even though he's parked outside his apartment. He's tired and worried and he really just wants Mick to stop being stubborn and listen to him.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of," Ian reiterates. "A lot of shit happened to you this year, and it makes sense that it's all catching up to you. You're not a bad dad, you just need help."

"Ian," Mickey says with an edge in his voice that makes Ian's hackles go up. "You don't know shit about how hard this has been, okay? You were here four days and you fucked off back home. I got stuck here raising a kid who hates me and would probably be better off with you--"

"Mickey, I--"

"What, you thought just because you proposed and I said yes that we got our happy ending? You think it was that easy? I wanted you to stay, asshole. You were...I really thought you would stay."

Oh, fuck. Ian doesn't know whether to feel guilty or defensive or just sorry for how alone Mickey must be feeling right now. 

And, deep down, he did kind of think he was giving Mickey a happy ending--or at least, something to look forward to--when he proposed. He meant it, he does want them to get married, but...maybe Mickey sees the engagement as a consolation prize. Because no matter how he tries to frame it, Ian's here and Mickey's there. And he will be for a very long time. 

"Mick, I wish I could have stayed," he says sincerely. "I do. But there's so much I have to do here--"

"I'm fucking tired of hearing that!" Mickey explodes. "You've got a paying job and your family nearby and people you can talk to! I have nothing, Ian! Fucking nothing..."

He trails off and Ian can hear his jagged breathing. He's crying. Mickey doesn't cry, or at least he barely lets himself shed more than a few tears, and that's only when he thinks he's alone. 

"Talk to Flora again," Ian says, after a minute of pretending he doesn't realize Mickey's crying. "Please, just go to one of her group meetings. Bring Mia if you want to. She loves you, Mick. I love you, too. You don't have nothing."

He might not know much about postpartum depression, but he knows depression itself. He can relate to how Mickey might be feeling, and he knows his words won't be enough. 

"I gotta go," Mickey says, and hangs up.

***

Of course, as soon as a Gallagher thinks of a worst-case scenario, it comes true. At least, this has been true for Ian so many times that he's almost relieved when he gets a call from Flora three days later.

"Mickey hasn't been home since yesterday," she says, and he can hear Mia crying in the background. "I came by in the morning and he said he was going out to buy groceries, but he never came back. I stayed over in case he came back, but he hasn't."

"Did you call his phone?" Ian asks, anticipating the answer.

"He left it here," Flora says, sounding frazzled. "Mia's okay, but I can't stay much longer. I might take her to my place and leave Mickey a note in case he comes back. But if he's gone another day, I'm sorry, but I have to call the police."

Ian goes cold. 

"No police!" he says sharply. "Please, just...just let me figure out when I can get down there before you do. And tell Mia I love her and I'll be there soon." 

***

Turns out the only way to get from Chicago to Mexico in less than twenty-four hours is by plane. Ian books the first one out, takes a sick day, and spends the entire flight alternating between horrific scenarios in which Mickey's lying dead somewhere riddled with bullet holes, or ones in which he walks through the door of his apartment and Ian punches him out for making them worry so much.

He takes a cab to the apartment and Flora lets him in. He picks Mia up out of her playpen and hugs her like she was the one who went missing, glad that out of the three of them, she's oblivious to what's going on right now. 

Then he looks around the apartment and his heart sinks. The furniture is basically three lawn chairs, a ratty hammock and a futon. Mia's crib and playpen are the only things she has, besides a cardboard box full of toys and another next to it of clothes. The place is clean, thanks to Flora, but it's...bare. It looks more someone's squatting here instead of living here. 

He didn't expect Mickey to go Martha Stewart on the place, but...this is not what he pictured at all. He really thought Mickey was doing better than this. He knows how much he sends him every week and how cheap things are here, so it can't be a lack of money that's the problem.

"Flora," Ian says, "Can you hang around just a little longer?"

***

He knows where Mickey probably is. In a general sense.

For one thing, Mickey never goes far from what's familiar to him. Ian ducks into every bar in the vicinity of the apartment complex, but Mickey's not in any of them. He checks out the places they visited when they first got here, and asks after Mickey. No one's seen him in days. Ian even goes into the local police station to see if anyone matching his description has been arrested in the past forty-eight hours. No one has, which is both a huge relief and frustration. 

Finally, he spots Mickey on the beach, just a couple of blocks from the apartment. He's alive, with no visible injuries, sitting in the sand drinking beer.

For a moment, Ian's torn between knee-buckling relief and wanting to kill him for all the worry and trouble he's caused.

Then he remembers that if Mickey was in a good place, mentally, this would never have happened. Ian knows all about not being in a good place.

Ian walks toward him, not sure what he's going to do or say, and when Mickey sees him he gets up, surprised.

"Shit. Ian--"

Ian doesn't let him finish. He grabs Mickey in a hug, and although he's tense for a couple of seconds, Mickey melts into it and holds on like he's afraid to let go. 

They stay like that for a while, and finally Ian steps back and gets a good look at his fiance.

"You look like shit."

Mickey half-laughs, rubbing at his eyes. "Yeah, I feel even better." He sobers. "Is Mia okay? Flora's probably after my balls right now, but I was coming back, I swear."

"She's fine, and Flora's ready to call the cops, but I told her to wait," Ian tells him. "Mick, what happened?"

Mickey sits down in the sand heavily. "I couldn't take it any more, man. I just woke up and she was already crying and I thought 'I can't do this.' So when Flora came by, I thought I'd take a walk and clear my head. Ended up not wanting to go home, so I slept in somebody's car last night."

Ian sits next to him. "Did you do anything else?"

"I didn't get high or fuck anybody," Mickey says, glancing at him. "I just wanted to be alone. I started to miss her, but going back to all the crying and the diapers and feeling like she knew I was fucking up..." He shakes his head. "I couldn't do it."

Ian looks out at the ocean, wondering where he should start. 

"I know what that's like, kind of," he says finally. "When Lip and I were old enough, Fiona kind of turned us into her personal babysitters. Every time we came home from school, she'd dump a kid in our arms and tell us to give Carl a bath or help Debbie with her homework, or treat Liam's diaper rash. It felt like we were their dads instead of their brothers. I started missing the bus on purpose because walking home was the only time I got to be alone. And some days I just wanted to leave and never come back, like Monica did."

He can feel Mickey staring at him. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. One time I got in a fight with Fiona because I was trying to read and she asked me to look after the kids for, like, the fifth time that week. I just snapped and told her if she asked again, I'd pack my shit and run away like our mom. She slapped me for that."

"No shit."

Ian chuckles. "Yeah, I deserved it. She was sorry right after she did it. And I forgave her, because I didn't really want to leave. I just didn't want to be raising my little sister and brothers the way she was."

He draws a line in the sand with his foot. "I guess I didn't understand that it was the only way she could do it without falling apart, by getting me and Lip to help. I get it now, though."

"I'm a shit dad, I know."

"You're not," Ian insists. "You got overwhelmed. So we'll make it easier."

***

It takes two more days and Ian's pretty sure he's going to be on thin ice with his boss when he gets back, but Mickey's finally been to a doctor and gotten a prescription for antidepressants. He's also agreed to go to some of Flora's group meetings for new moms, even though he's adamant that he not have to use his real name or let anyone call him a "mom."

That's all he's willing to do for now, and despite everything, Ian's happy to be back with Mia and pick up a little of the slack. He also buys Mickey a real chair and a bureau for all the baby stuff. 

"You sure you'll be okay?" he asks before he leaves on the third morning, when he and Mickey are still in bed and Mia's not up yet. This is the hardest part--when he feels like he's where he really belongs and Mickey's close enough to touch, and if he didn't have a life back in Chicago he might never go back.

Mickey glances over at Mia's crib. "I think so. Better, anyway." He presses closer to Ian. "I love her. I don't want to leave her again, not like that."

"I know, and you won't if you take the meds and go to the meetings," Ian reminds him, stroking his side. "It won't be easy, especially the first month on those things."

Mickey kisses him. "If I get a case of limp-dick, I'll call you and we can commiserate. And maybe try some phone sex."

Ian laughs. "Deal. And you won't have to take them forever." 

***

Epilogue: Mickey's POV

Not mine. 

That's what he thought when Terry told him Svetlana was pregnant, three weeks after the worst day of his life. He didn't see how anyone in her position could risk sex without protection. Then again, it wasn't like he'd had a chance to grab a condom before...it...happened. He'd wanted to demand a paternity test or something, but Terry would never have agreed to it and Svetlana seemed pretty certain that it was Mickey's baby, which was all the excuse his dad needed to set their wedding date. 

Mickey figured this was what his dad had been hoping for all along--for Mickey to knock up some girl and marry her, effectively eliminating the "gay" problem once and for all. It wouldn't matter as long as he had a ring on his finger, a wife at home and a brat to provide for. 

"Not mine" was what he told himself after Ian left. That this wasn't really his life. Lana wasn't really his wife because they never had sex after that one time. Her baby wasn't his because she couldn't prove it and anyway, she had so many clients that it could be anyone's. So he wasn't a father-to-be or a husband. He was just a guy making the best of a fucked-up situation. 

"Not mine" kept him from feeling anything for Yevgeny for weeks after he was born. At first it was easy--he didn't really look like anybody. Just a pale, chubby thing in a bassinet, barely even human. But sometimes when the house was quiet and Mickey had nothing else to do, he would hear Yevy's soft baby noises and glance into the bassinet, and be met with two blue eyes identical to his own. Yevy would stare back, like he recognized Mickey, and that's when he knew this kid was his. His son.

"Not mine" was what that guard had said as soon as Mickey had told him the news. He hadn't expected congratulations, but it still stung a little to get such a complete brush-off. He'd liked the guy. He was nicer than most of the power-tripping motherfuckers in the place, and whenever they fucked, Mickey closed his eyes and imagined it was Ian. This time, he played along and said of course it wasn't his and not to flatter himself. He'd wanted to end the pregnancy, but the prison doctor didn't know how to perform abortions on carriers (or so he said.) So he'd scraped together a handful of drugs for his own attempt, then chickened out and flushed them. He didn't want to die of an overdose in that hellhole and never get to see Ian again.

"Mine" is what he feels when he looks at Mia. It was the first thought he had when he held her the first time. She wasn't part of the original plan, she complicates everything, and he'd give anything to change it so that Ian really could be her dad. She's opinionated and stubborn and the most beautiful thing on the planet. She's pure Milkovich but something more, too. She's her own person.

And as cheesy as it is, mine is what he thinks when it comes to Ian. It's not that he wants Ian all for himself, it's that Ian chooses to be with him. 

Finally, after two years, they're standing in the small City Hall office, unable to stop smiling at each other as they say words that are pretty rote as far as marriage ceremonies go, but they don't care because words seem like the least important detail right now. Mia is gabbling happily from Mandy's arms, reaching out to both her dads, and Mickey keeps tearing up and trying to pretend that he isn't. By the time he's kissing Ian and they're officially married, he's not sure which of them is crying harder. 

"Mine" is what Mickey sees wherever his eyes fall--on his daughter, his sister, his new brothers- and sisters-in-law, and Ian.

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't sure about writing a sequel to WFM, but now I'm glad I did. Thank you for reading!


End file.
